A 24-year-old female Reddit user revealed on the platform that she is at odds with her stepfather. She was raised by her mother, who started dating her stepdad when she was only six. He moved in with them when she turned nine, and the couple married when she turned ten.

The Original Poster (OP) explained that when her mom started seeing her future stepdad, she told her that nothing would change between them as mother and daughter, adding he would never replace her dad.

OP further explained that her mother told her that if her future stepdad ever pressured her to do something she was uncomfortable with, such as calling him dad, she should inform her, and she would handle it.

OP said her mother made it clear that their relationship did not have to “fit anyone’s mold,” hence she reminded her again when the stepdad moved in and when they tied the knot, adding:

“She also asked for my feelings on things every step of the way, and I liked my stepdad and cared about him, so it was easy to agree to him moving in and to them getting married.”

OP admitted she never referred to her stepparent as “dad” or considered him a father figure. However, they got along well despite their relationship being different from hers and her mother’s.

Where Things Went Wrong

OP revealed on Reddit that she got engaged and asked her mother to walk her down the aisle and have a mother/daughter dance with her during the reception. Her mom happily agreed, and they told the stepdad, and he was elated, too.

It has always been OP’s wish to have her mother walk her down the aisle and dance with her at her wedding. She has always been there for her and made her a priority, and they have a close bond.

OP revealed that most recently, her stepfather’s parents texted her, writing that the bride’s father needed a little extra detail for their wedding suit. She said the message came out of nowhere and did not reply because she could not tell what it was about. Days later, she saw the parents, and they asked her why their son was not in rehearsal for the father/daughter dance.

OP told the pair that there would be no such thing as her mother would be the one participating in the dance. She explained to them that her stepfather would eventually share the dance floor with her later on the day of the wedding. OP further divulged what the couple said to her:

“They said father of the bride is the dance not mother of the bride. I told them he wasn’t going to have that traditional role.”

Relentless, they asked her about the same thing another day, and OP asked them why they kept bringing it up. In response, they told her she should be “ashamed” for “humiliating” her stepfather, who was so upset by her decision that he decided to vent to them about it.

OP confronted her stepdad about the debacle, and he admitted to talking to his parents about this as he hoped she would see what she was doing was wrong. He added that he did not want to mention this to her mother directly because he did not want to upset her.

According to OP, her stepparent told her he deserved to stand in as the bride’s father, not the bride’s stepfather. She told her mother about it, and her mother was furious. She stated her stepdad’s parents were also angered and said to her that she ran to her mother like a little girl instead of a woman.

Online Reaction

OP said she told her mother that her stepdad went to his family to try and persuade her to agree to him being the father of the bride at the wedding. He did not want her mother to know that he felt indifferent about her choice; she was aware of that but did not tell her mother and felt bad about it.